How to ask for a referral: messages that work in a small country

Who to ask and who not to

Referrals carry weight because they are a recommendation from someone the employer already trusts. Personal connections matter: in MBIE's 2025 Employment Monitor, an online survey of 1,699 workers in February and March 2025, 26% said they got their main job through friends or family, second only to online job sites at 43%. Overseas data points the same way: in SilkRoad's Sources of Hire report, covering 2016 hiring at more than 1,000 companies overseas, employee referrals delivered more than 30% of hires.

The best person to ask works at the organisation, or knows the hiring manager, and has seen your work or knows you well enough to speak honestly about you. A former colleague now at the company is ideal. A friend of a friend who has never worked with you can still pass your CV on, but their word carries less weight, so ask them for an introduction rather than a recommendation.

Some people are better left out. Do not ask someone who has only just started there, someone you have not spoken to in years without first reconnecting, or anyone who would feel awkward saying no, such as a junior colleague or someone who reports to you. And ask one person per role, not three, so nobody is caught out.

Three message templates

Keep it short enough to read on a phone. Change the details and the tone to suit how well you know the person.

A close contact:

A looser tie:

A former colleague:

Notice what the second message does not do: it does not ask a near-stranger to vouch for you. It asks for a conversation first. A referral can grow out of that, if the conversation goes well.

Making it easy to say yes

People are more willing to help when helping takes two minutes. Do the work for them:

• Send the link to the ad and the closing date.
• Attach a CV tailored to the role, not a general one.
• Write a two or three line summary they can forward as it is: who you are, what you have done that fits, and why you want this role.
• Say how their organisation's referral process works, if you know, so they do not have to look it up.

Give them an easy exit, too. "No problem at all if the timing is not right" lets someone decline without awkwardness, which keeps the relationship intact for next time.

What to do after the referral

Thank them straight away, whatever happens next. Then apply through the proper channel if they ask you to, and mention their name in your cover letter only if they are happy for you to.

Keep them informed at each step. A short message when you get an interview, and again when you hear the outcome, is courteous and useful: they may be asked about you, and they will want to know how it ended. If you get the job, a proper thank-you matters. If you do not, thank them anyway and say you would be glad to return the favour. Our guide to references and referees covers the related job of looking after the people who speak for you later in the process.

Recording the favour so you can return it

A referral is a favour, and favours are easy to forget in the rush of a job hunt. Keep a note of who helped, for which role, and what happened, and look for chances to return it: passing on a role that suits them, introducing them to someone useful, or simply offering to be a referee in turn.

In jobtracker.co.nz, each contact is kept against the job they relate to, marked as a referral or mutual contact if that is their role, with a follow-up date that puts "Follow up with" them on your Do this next list when it arrives. You can see how contacts sit beside jobs in the demo, which needs no account.

Keep your people beside the jobs they help with